Dear Mr B and all readers..
Assalamualaikum and hola..
Day 19.. January 2015
My bestfriend getting married on 18012015.. Congratulations to ros and man! For the first time being a bridesmaid and everything went well eventhough I forgot to bring a tissue.. I mean for the first time standing on a stage and makes me wanna cry..hahaha.. Meeting old friends and remind of old memories makes me happy.. The most famous question yesterday was "when you're getting married?".. It makes me blush!
To be true, at the age of soon to be 28 I still don't have boyfriend.. Yes! Single lady with a beautiful heart!! Hahaha.. There's a lot of people want to be a matchmaker.. But.. It's all about my heart.. I don't know either.. Maybe after this when people try to do this matchmaking process, getting bored and will said yes.. (terpaksa?)
I just don't really know what I want.. Everything that I want it's hard to get..
And I don't have courage to wish what I want anymore.. I just let it go and wish everything goods keep on coming..
19 days in January got a bad news.. Being rejected by the universities to further study makes me lose hope.. Being rejected to be part of Mara teachers also makes me feel sad!
I don't really know, what's God planning for me.. Being strong is the daily supplement that I really need.. If you ask me today what I want, I just don't know..
I can't think anything.. Phd? getting married? stable job? And pressure by others makes me want to go somewhere where I can stand with my on feet..
I'm trying hard in my own way! Please don't pressure me.. I'm hurt inside.. And keep on thinking to run away..far far away to live my own life!
And the 2015 just begin......